Pain
It comes in many forms. Sickness. Death. Poverty. Betrayal. Tonight I read a quote that said the most precious kind of worship is when our soul has been crushed, yet we follow the Lord anyway. I felt that deeply. I have been crushed and I couldn’t always worship. I did a lot of secret crying and open pretending. Day after day I tried. I got out my Bible. I prayed, but I couldn’t get past it. I read God’s promises but couldn’t find myself in the words. I tried to find some measure of hope in scripture, but only found reminders of what had been done to me. Perhaps I couldn’t heal because I was looking for retribution, or maybe I just longed for someone to walk beside me and tell me they understood the pain I was going through. It’s hard to worship when the person who caused the pain is still a part of your day to day life. I had so many unanswered questions, and so little faith at times. I begged God for forgiveness for allowing the bitterness to creep back in. For not being able to forgive. I begged for hope and change in the person who wronged me. At times I felt alone and lost. I would get angry at the circumstances that had caused me to become this person. Other times I felt utter exhaustion, and the strong desire to just give up the fight in trying to overcome the negative thoughts and feelings. Death seems to be the hardest of all pains to endure. The physical death of a loved one. The death of a friendship. The death of a marriage. The death of trust. The death of hope. The death of dreams. And yet, it was death that brought us all life. It was death that gave us true hope. True faith. It was Christ’s death that gave me mercy and grace and most importantly, forgiveness. It wasn’t the pain that had been done to me that put me in this place. It was the pain I inflicted on myself day after day. Dwelling on the bad instead of praising God for the good. I wasn’t worshipping God, I was worshipping what had been done to me. I was worshipping the pain. I was worshipping me. I was the one who needed to change. I thought that I was all alone in this place called pain but all along Jesus was with me, continually pulling me to Him, even on those days I resisted. Even on those days I wanted to give up, He never gave up on me. Christ had sympathy on me. Christ has sympathy on you, and all you are going through right this minute. I read another beautiful quote today that I knew I wanted to share with you all. It is based on Hebrews 4:15-16~ “The empathy precedes the sympathy, and the mercy holds hands with grace.” * The author reminds us that the writer of Hebrews tells us Christ is fully aware of our pain and weaknesses, and He has empathy and sympathy for us. Because He has walked in our shoes. He is our intercessor, not our accuser. And following this information, he encourages us to come boldly to Him in our pain. Oh if we could just grasp that! Our prayers would look so different! Whatever pain you are going through today, you are not alone. Keep going to Jesus. Some days might seem hopeful, while others feel as if you have taken 10 steps backward. Don’t give up. Jesus knows EXACTLY what you are going through and He is making intercession for you. Come to Him boldly. Tell Him everything. Today I can clearly see God’s hand on the circumstances I went through so many years ago. Today I realize I was never alone. Today I realize that mercy holds hands with grace. The very hands that were pierced for me, yet held me when I didn’t think I could go on. Scripture Reading: Hebrews 4:14-16 Hebrews 2:17-18 Isaiah 53:3-6 Philippians 2:6-8, 13 Hebrews 7:25-26 Revelation 12:10 & 11 *Upon Waking by Jackie Hill Perry THE MOST IMPORTANT MESSAGE I COULD EVER WRITE~
I’ve never hired someone to clean my house~but if I did, I am that person that would clean before the cleaning people came to clean. On the other hand, my husband just ate three donuts, washed them down with a glass of milk and then went to the dentist. He didn’t brush his teeth, or even check the mirror before going. Going to the dentist with donuts in my teeth isn’t an option. I try to get my teeth as clean as possible before the dentist cleans my teeth. Sometimes I think people can be like me when it comes to God. They think they have to “clean” themselves up spiritually before they can go to church, read a Bible or even talk to God, or they think they are able to somehow “clean” themselves up in order to earn a home in heaven one day. They have the view that if they try hard enough, God will outweigh their good over their bad and allow them into heaven one day. According to God and His words~ both are wrong. God’s love, forgiveness and salvation is free my friend. Salvation from hell. Salvation with Jesus. Forgiveness of sins. Security of an eternal home in heaven. Never wondering again what will happen when you die, having the assurance that when you draw your last breath you will be in the presence of God. We cannot work for it. We cannot strive to make ourselves better or more spiritual or “cleaner”, because we will always fall short. Our hearts are desperately wicked. We are human and we were born that way. We will always sin. And that sin separates us from God. The good news is~that’s exactly why Jesus came. If we could make ourselves “clean” enough, “good” enough, Jesus wouldn’t have had to die on the cross. He took every sin~past, present and future~ upon himself when He died on the cross. He defeated death. When we realize all of that and truly believe it, when we realize that we can come to Him (even with donuts in our teeth) and He will not judge, when we know how much He loves us and how much grace and mercy He gives, and then with a repentant heart we pray and ask Him to forgive us for our sins and be our Savior, Father, Redeemer and Friend~ He will. Immediately. He asks nothing of you, except you. His salvation is a gift. So often I write blog posts about our walk with God, but if you have never had a time when you have asked Jesus to be your Savior, perhaps you have always felt as if you were missing something as you read my words. Walking with God seems foreign to you. Perhaps you have never truly comprehended the things that I have written about. The most important message I could ever write is this~Jesus died for you and wants to be your Savior. He wants to take your hand and heart, and walk with you all the days of your life. Never leaving. Never forsaking. There are no special words you need to say to Him. No classes to take. No church you need to attend. It isn’t about anything that we can do. It’s about everything Christ has already done on the cross. Simply believe, repent and accept His free gift. If you have no idea how to talk to God, let me assure you with this beautiful truth~you can talk to Him just like He is your Dad. Simply tell Him you’re sorry for your sins and ask Him for forgiveness and salvation. Settle it in your heart today. No more wondering. No more fear. Eternally secure in your Father’s arms. He will never let you go. His child forever. Yes, donuts and all. SCRIPTURE READING: *Ephesians 2:8-9 *Romans 3:10, 12, 23 *Isaiah 1:18 *Isaiah 59:1-2 *John 3:16 *Romans 5:6, 8, 11, 20-21 *Romans 6:23 *Hebrews 7:25 *Hebrews 8:10, 12 *Romans 10:9-10, *13 John 10:28-30 *1 Corinthians 15:55-57
7/5/2024
Those Annoying CrowdsGive me a seat in this kingdom home. Right hand or left, doesn’t matter. Then let me put my feet up and recline for a while…
We live in a tiny town in the thumb of Michigan. We don’t even have a traffic light. It’s been a dream raising our children here and ministering at our church. It’s a quiet town… most of the time. And then there are weekends like this. Our quiet town turns into a tourist destination. Cars are loud, people are loud, late night, live music is loud. Very loud. There is no sitting in your backyard on sweet summer evenings, listening to the birds sing as the sun sets and the wind whistles through the trees. And it’s hard and sometimes sad. And annoying, and frustrating. Because I want peace. And quiet. My heart was pricked about that this morning as I looked out my upstairs window at the bumper to bumper traffic on Main Street. I had become that person I described above. I wanted to peacefully prop my feet up and idly enjoy the thoughts of my future home in heaven, and I wanted to do it without all the noise. And people. I realized I didn’t have the heart of Jesus about any of this. Jesus has so much compassion on ME! He loves me beyond comprehension. He sacrificed His life for me. He forgave my sins. He gave me new life. I have messed up over and over and over again, and yet He welcomes me back with open arms. What a gift He has given me. A gift I don’t deserve, and one I shouldn’t squander. And as I thought about the multitudes of people outside my front door, in my normally quiet little town, I realized I wasn’t moved with compassion. Like Jesus. I just wanted comfort in the tiny little kingdom home of my own making. Jesus didn’t come to be served, but to serve, and to give His very life. He didn’t come to judge the world, but to save the world. He didn’t come to condemn, he came to bring life. I am convicted that I wanted the benefits of that life on my terms. I didn’t see the multitudes like Jesus did. I have openly complained about my situation, with words that may have come across as hateful. There was no compassion. There definitely wasn’t any love. I mentally made allowances because this was a separate category. This was an annoyance. I am convicted when I realize that not everyone is like me. Some people enjoy the crowds and noise. I am convicted when I realize that the crowds need Jesus. I am convicted when I realize that for some people, the quiet months can be depressing. They need the crowds. They need the noise. This life isn’t all about me. It’s all about Him. And so, my prayer is that I will have the eyes and heart of Jesus. I will have love. I will have understanding. I will strive to share that love and life with everyone I come in contact with. And perhaps this will encourage you to do the same. We can all get so easily annoyed. Humans will always annoy us, because we are human. Sometimes it doesn’t take much for the condemning and complaining to start. Instead, let’s ask the Holy Spirit to help us be more like Jesus, realizing all the grace, mercy, forgiveness and love He has shown us. And seeing the multitudes, SHE was moved with compassion. SCRIPTURE READING: John 12:47, John 10:10, Matthew 20:21, 27-28, Matthew 9:36-38, Matthew 14:14, Mark 8:1-2, Psalm 78:38-39, Luke 15:20, 1 John 2:6, Titus 3:2-7 1 Peter 2:9-10, 12, 16, 21-24, Philippians 2:5, Luke 6:46
6/21/2024
Core MemoriesCORE MEMORIES
The other day I watched as my 5 oldest grandchildren hauled an old sofa up into their “fort” above my daughter’s garage. She laughed and told me that any time her girls do something crazy, she and her husband look at each other and say “core memories”. I thought about that a lot. Core memories. It reminded me of a vacation we took many years ago. As is the case with many young couples, in the early years of our marriage money was tight. My In-laws paid for us all to stay in a small cottage on the ocean. We took so many pictures that week. We wanted to hold on to those core memories. Our oldest wasn’t quite 2 years old at the time. Because my mother-in-law knew our financial situation, she lovingly splurged and bought my daughter an entire wardrobe of rompers, dresses, pajamas and shoes. I was so happy I cried. Unfortunately on our way home, someone broke into our car and took it all. Everything. Not only the gifts from my mother-in-law, but our camera as well. And then I really cried. In the middle of that “storm”, when the “hard” hit, I thought that all the memories I had captured on that camera had been taken from me. But the more time that went by, the more I realized that memories can’t be taken from you. Memories are a special gift God gives us that last forever. Pictures can remind us, but core memories are locked away inside our hearts. No one can take our memories away, but we can be fooled into allowing them to be hidden and forgotten when moments of hardship happen in our lives. This is especially true when we are in the throws of early motherhood. We forget that as each day passes, it becomes a memory not only for us, but more importantly for our children. What kind of core memories are we making for them? Are they seeing a mama at the end of her rope all the time because the circumstances around her become too overwhelming, and she allows them to steal her joy and snuff out the beauty of each moment? That’s exactly what Satan wants. He doesn’t want motherhood to be beautiful. He wants it to feel hard. He wants mamas to continually feel like they “can’t wait for this stage to be over”. He wants us to treat our children like they’re a chore, and not like they’re the most precious gift God could give. Satan also tends to do this in our walk with God. We can be on the mountain top, and suddenly the storms come and we forget all the blessings God has bestowed on us. The core memories of mercy and our grace filled walk with God. We focus on the bad and we forget. Just like Peter. One minute we’re walking on water and the next we’re sinking. Let me encourage you today not to forget. When the “hard” hits, remember those core memories of God’s goodness. When the storms come, remember that time with your children is fleeting. Each day is a memory not only for you, but for their core memory bank. Make sure they remember the time, and the love, and the prayers, and the praise, and the patience you poured into them every single day. It’s those little things they will remember far more than anything else. And as you walk out into the storms of life that may come your way in your Christian journey, remind yourself of the time, and the love, and the prayers, and the praise, and the patience your Heavenly Father has lovingly poured into you. Every day is a memory in the making. What will you make of it? Core memories. Don’t let Satan hide them from your heart when the “hard” hits. Cling to them. Because as much as he might try, he can’t ever take them away from you. They’re a special gift God gives us that last forever. SCRIPTURE READING: 1 Timothy 6:6-7 1 Timothy 6:17, 19 2 Timothy 1:5 Psalm 77:4-14 Ecclesiastes 12:1 Psalm 103:17-18 Isaiah 46:8-9 James 1:12, 17 Matthew 14:27-28, 30-31
6/21/2024
He’s My DadHE’S MY DAD
Remember the things we would say on the playground when we were little? Things like~ ”My dad is the best dad in the whole world.” ”My dad is smarter than your dad” or “My dad is stronger than yours”. Sadly, some kids would say~”I don’t have a dad”, or some wouldn’t say anything at all. Well, I am here to tell you that you can have the very best dad, the smartest dad and the strongest dad, because my Dad really is the BEST dad! If He isn’t your Father too, He wants to be!! Let me introduce you to Him… I never have to worry about my future with Him, or my finances or even my health. He takes care of all of it. He also takes complete care of my entire family. He disciplines me when I need it, but He always does it in a loving way. He’s never mean. He’s never angry with me. He’s never vindictive. No matter how often I mess up, He forgives me and tells me He loves me. He fills my heart with joy every single day. He gives me a book that He wrote for me, a book that helps guide me when life gets hard, that helps mold me, that helps me to help others and that fill me with peace and comfort, happiness and hope. I complain to Him way too often, yet He gently listens as I rant. I can tell Him anything, and He never judges me. When I’m scared, He is right there by my side. Everyone constantly wants to talk to Him~all the time, all at once~and yet, He takes the time just for me. He sits next to me, wraps His arms around me and listens. He won’t ever leave me. He won’t ever lie to me. He won’t ever make me feel like He’s disappointed in me. I don’t have to prove myself to Him to make him proud. He constantly encourages me and prays for me. He gave His life for me. He’s my Dad. And the best news is, He wants to be your Dad too. Whether you have the very best dad in the world here on earth, or your dad hasn’t been the role model you needed growing up, God wants to be your Father. Father’s Day can be tough for some. Maybe your husband isn’t the best father to your children or maybe you have never felt the love of a father at all. Maybe your dad was amazing, but is no longer with you, and that void hurts deeply. Whatever Father’s Day looks like to you, please know that we have a Heavenly Father that will never disappoint. A Father who is the very best Father we could ever imagine, and so much more than even that. Grasp that beautiful truth and then PLEASE share it with others. Don’t ever take it for granted. And if you don’t know my heavenly Dad, send me a private message. I would love to introduce you to Him this Father’s Day so that He can be your Dad too!! SCRIPTURE READING: Isaiah 46:4 Matthew 6:25-26 Psalm 103:3-5, 8-14, 17 Hebrews 12:5-7 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Hebrews 13:5-6 Numbers 23:19 1 John 5:14-15 John 17:9-10 Romans 5:6-8 Zephaniah 3:17 Psalm 68:5 2 Corinthians 6:18
6/21/2024
Keep Coming BackKEEP COMING BACK
I just needed someone to tell me it was going to be okay. I needed the words to wrap around my scared heart like a warm blanket, and soothe my fears away. Deep pain was not a stranger to me. Loneliness was not foreign, but this hit different. I knew in my heart that God was in complete control. I knew that He would come through for me like He had so many times before. But something about this made my “little girl” heart very scared. Only weeks before, my dad had suffered a stroke. He was hospitalized and communication was hard. I left all my responsibilities as a Pastor’s wife, wife, mom and grandma, and moved into his house. Day after day I drove to the hospital to be with him. For over a month. My dad was suffering from multiple, life threatening issues with his heart and kidneys, and when the physicians deemed him able, they performed triple bypass on him. When I walked into that dim recovery room after the surgery, when I saw my dad hooked up to machines, with a tube in his mouth~I felt utterly helpless. And I wept. I had never felt so helpless in my entire life, and I needed someone to tell me it was going to be okay. Day after day after day. Walking into his hospital room. Exhaustion, discouragement and waiting. Waiting for answers. I spoke with doctors, I spoke with nurses, but I was waiting to hear my father. My husband would come on Saturdays when he could. My brothers would come when work allowed, but for the most part I sat in silence in his hospital room waiting. I talked to him. I told him I loved him. I realized how very much he meant to me. I realized how much I had taken our relationship for granted. I realized there was literally nothing I could do to change the situation, but I kept coming back. No one ever did tell me it was going to be okay, because no one could say that with 100% certainty. And then the day finally arrived when I was given a measure of hope. Dad smiled at me. He would never be the same again, but he was alive. Not only were we able to talk, but we were able to laugh. Our relationship and our bond grew by leaps and bounds after that. Dad would never be the same again, but neither would our relationship. It would be better. And it was. Isn’t that how it is sometimes on our Christian journey? We feel all alone. We don’t hear from God, and begin to believe our prayers aren’t being answered. We become exhausted and discouraged in the waiting, and we desperately want someone to tell us it’s going to be ok. I am here to tell you. It’s going to be okay. My life is living proof of that. Speak with others. Seek help, but don’t stop coming to the Father. Day after day after day, come back. Talk to Him. Lean on Him. Tell Him you love Him. Even when there isn’t a single thing you can do to change your situation, don’t give up. Even in the silence. Don’t give up. My relationship with my dad only got sweeter, until the day he went home to heaven. The closer we get to heaven the sweeter our relationship with our Heavenly Father becomes, but only if we continually come to Him. Because when we continually come, our hearts are strengthened in knowing that we might not be able to change the situation, but by faith we believe that God is in control, and with 100% certainty we can know, it’s going to be okay. On the mountain tops and through the hardest valleys, not only will your relationship with your Father grow, it will become better. And then, the day will come when your hope is renewed. And you will smile. You will laugh. You will realize how very much you took for granted. And you will know. Everything is going to be okay. SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 11:28-29 Matthew 19:26 Ephesians 3:20-21 Philippians 4:13 Hebrews 4:15-16 Luke 15:18, 20 Psalm 27:13-14 Romans 8:18
5/31/2024
One With The FatherThe other night a transformer at the end of our road blew and we lost power. When it came back on, I waited to make sure it would stay on and then I reset everything, including my coffee pot.
I was looking forward to using the gift my daughter in law gave me for Mother’s Day. She had a special coffee mug made for me with the Holding Hope cover from my blog and Facebook page printed on it. Somehow when I saw it, it made me feel like my page was actually legit. Not even 5 minutes after I reset that coffee pot, we lost power again. Within a half hour it was restored. I waited to be sure and after it seemed like it was going to stay on, I reset everything. Again. I had my coffee all ready to brew first thing in the morning, then went upstairs to bed. As I was brushing my teeth~you guessed it~ we lost it. Complete blackness. At first I got angry. (I might have shouted “Are you kidding me?”) But as I stood there in the darkness, the Holy Spirit pricked my heart, and I started laughing. As a writer, it seems like God continually shows me there’s a lesson in everything. Quite often, I lose myself in Holding Hope. I want to be used of God to help other women, but at times I lose myself in the process. I want that message, but forget about the Messenger. Week after week I pray and ask God what He would have me write. Somehow I think that if I have just the right words of encouragement, I will also have peace. God always gives me something from His word, but as I stood in the darkness the other night, I realized that I haven’t even been applying what I write to my own heart, even though I am the one who needs it most. I am encouraged by God, or convicted by Him. I write about it, and then I forget it… until the following week. And so, week after week God gives me a reset, almost as if He is saying~”Let’s try this again Charisse”, but then it happens all over again. I keep looking at that cup and want to fill it with hope, but miss the power source in the process. I’m the one who needs the hope, but I can’t have that hope without the Power, and I can’t have the power until I seek God Himself, not just something from Him. Even if that something is meant to glorify Him. Just like the story of Mary and Martha, I always end up being the Martha. I need to be the Mary. I need the needful thing. Jesus. And yes, I have written about this before. It’s obvious it’s a reoccurring problem in my life. But praise God, He is the ultimate problem solver. He will keep resetting me week after week. He won’t give up on me until I get a hold of that power. The power that only comes when I am one with Him. Not when I have the perfect words for a blog post. What do your prayers look like? Are you truly seeking God or are you looking for your power and your peace elsewhere? Maybe from a job? From a friend? From the opinions of others? From financial stability? From a spouse, or your kids, or even a ministry? Sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it, we just know that deep down something is missing. The peace never truly comes. It stays for a while, and then needs a reset. Over and over and over. As Oswald Chambers wrote: “The purpose of God isn’t to answer our prayers, but by our prayers we come to discern the mind of God, and this is revealed in John 17. There is one prayer God must answer, and that is the prayer of Jesus- "that they may be one, even as We are One." Are we as close to Jesus Christ as that? Jesus has prayed nothing less for us than absolute oneness with Himself as He was one with the Father. Some of us are far off it, and yet God will not leave us alone until we are one with Him, because Jesus has prayed that we may be.” I praise Him that He doesn’t leave me alone. That He keeps resetting me. That His mercies are new every morning. I am not legit because of this page, or because a coffee cup says so. I am legit because of Jesus alone and His sacrifice on the cross for me. I am legit only through God and by His power. Without Him, I am nothing. My prayer is to emulate Jesus prayer~ that I may be one with the Father. Let’s make sure that’s what we are all seeking when we go to God… Not just something from Him. SCRIPTURE READING: Colossians 2:2-3 Colossians 2:6-7 Colossians 2:10 1 Corinthians 3:23 John 16:13 John 16:33 John 17:3, 10, 18, 20-26 1 Peter 2:9 Ephesians 1:18-19
5/24/2024
Speak Up, And Never ForgetThis is a reminder to grandmothers and moms, sisters and aunts, Sunday school teachers and nursery workers. To our daughters, and to all women everywhere. A reminder to speak up.
This is a shout out to Missionaries and Farmers, to Firemen and Police officers, Doctors and nurses, Army, Navy, Coast Guard, Air Force and Marines. This is a shout out to all those who sacrifice so much, every single day. I don’t think we speak to this generation enough about sacrifice. We want our children to have it better than we did. We don’t want them to work as hard. We want life to be easier for them. I don’t think we speak to this generation enough about sin, or about stepping up, about trying your hardest, about taking second place, last place or no place at all. And in the process of not speaking up, we are losing them, not making life better for them. By not speaking up, we have turned sacrifice into make believe, and sin into a simple mistake with no consequences. And the cross of Christ has no effect. It’s not too late. Start speaking up. This weekend isn’t about pools and beaches, yard sales and picnics, boats and time off. It’s about sacrifices. So many sacrifices. The Bible isn’t just a book about doing good and being moral. It’s a literal lifeline into eternity. It’s an entire gospel of sacrifice, and the gift of salvation from an eternity in hell. If we don’t teach this generation what sacrifice really means, if we don’t teach them about the sacrifices that so many have made for us and our country, and if we don’t teach them the sacrifices so many are making right now, this very minute~ the cross of Christ will have no effect on them, because sacrifice won’t mean a thing. It almost seems as if every holiday observed in our nation has become a reason to celebrate, but along the way we have lost the true meaning of why we observe it to begin with. Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving, Veterans Day, Independence Day and Memorial Day… so many began because of sacrifice. As much as I enjoy getting together with my family, I don’t want them to ever forget. I don’t want to forget. And so, this is a shout out of thanks to all of you who make hard sacrifices every single day, sometimes 24 hours a day. This is a shout out to the Missionaries and Farmers, to Firemen and Police Officers, to Doctors and nurses. This is a shout out to the Army, Navy, Coast Guard, Air Force and Marines. This is a memorial to all those who have gone before. Who have fought and sacrificed their lives for our country. FOR US. Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Let’s speak up, and never forget. Hebrews 10:10, 12, 17 Hebrews 7:25-27 Ephesians 5:2 John 15:13
5/17/2024
Your Children Will Hate YouMany years ago my husband and I were told that we were too hard on our kids. That they would grow up hating us, move far away and we would never see them again.
The words hurt my heart. This wasn’t the picture I wanted the world to see. I wanted others to see the deep love I had for my children. The decisions we made, and the prayers we prayed were a result of that love. At times I wondered if the hurtful words might be true. Did we make the right decisions? It would be many years before proof of that love, and its fruit was made evident. Prayers were answered. I was only 29 years old when my husband became pastor here. We were just kids, with four kids of our own. That was 29 years ago. It’s hard for me to believe that I have been a pastor’s wife for half my life. For 29 years I have lived in this same town. I have lived in the same house and raised all my children here. And now I am watching them as they raise their children here. Yes, here. Yes, all four of my children went far away to college and got married, but they all ended up moving back to our area. They all came home. 29 years ago, we had ideas and dreams. Dreams for our church and dreams for our children. One night we wrote those dreams down in a little notebook. It wasn’t always easy, in fact I am here to tell you, ministry is hard. Raising kids is hard. But every one of those dreams has since been fulfilled. And we couldn’t have done it without Jesus. Jesus is the author of every good gift that has been bestowed on our little ministry here. And Jesus is the author of every beautiful trait my children possess. Not me. Not my husband. Only Jesus. Back then my dreams for my children weren’t money and fame. Back then my main goal for each one of my children was for them to truly know the Lord. That they wouldn’t get lost in the ministry and become a PK (pastor’s kid) casualty, that Jesus wouldn’t just be a religion or a way of life, but that He would be their very best Friend. That they would have a bond of love that would navigate them through any thing this world threw at them. I knew that as long as they had that, everything God wanted for them would fall into place. Each year held its challenges. From the sleepless nights of a newborn to the sleepless nights of worry over where my children were, or what they were doing. There was laughter, so much laughter, but there were also tears. And there was prayer. So much prayer. Prayers through the happy and the heartbreaking. Prayers for their salvation. Prayers for their friendships. Prayers for their crushes. Prayers for attitudes and rebellion. Prayers for their future. Prayers for their now. 29 years ago, my kids were only 8, 6, 4 and 2 years old. Today they are all involved in God’s ministry and one of them~ that 6 year old, blonde haired, blue eyed, happy go lucky girl with a speech problem and a heart for others will be speaking at our church’s 25th ladies banquet this Saturday. A banquet that was added to that notebook of ideas and dreams so many years ago. This is not a reflection on me. This is all Jesus. I am here to tell you mama that you can’t ever, ever stop praying. There are probably thousands of books that offer advice on raising children, but all of it is irrelevant if you are not praying for them. When it feels happy, pray. When it feels hopeless, pray. When it feels hard., pray. When the world tells you that your kids will grow up hating you, keep praying. No matter how far away from the Lord your children may be, they will always remember your prayers. God is faithful. I probably got so much wrong. I am still a work in progress as a mother. I don’t have all the answers. Just this one. Pray. Despite what others said many years ago and our own shortcomings as parents, my prayer continues to be that Jesus will always mean everything to my kids. That they will love Him with their everything and that He will be their very best Friend. And in the process, my children have all become my best friends. That’s what Jesus can do. That’s what Jesus will do. Hold on to that hope mama. And never stop praying. SCRIPTURE READING: Philippians 3:3, Philippians 4:6, Hebrews 12:1-2, James 1:5, 17, Deuteronomy 5:29, Deuteronomy 6:2, 6-7, Deuteronomy 11:18-19, Psalm 103:13-14, Proverbs 22:6, Isaiah 54:13, Proverbs 1:8-9, Colossians 1:9-14, 1 John 5:14, Romans 12:12, Philippians 1:6, Ephesians 1:12, Hebrews 4:16 There is this gift that God gives to every mother. It’s beautifully wrapped in a blanket of love and when it is opened, a garden of flowers grows in your heart.
Each year you tend it. You love it. You pull out the weeds and nourish the soil. And the beautiful flowers fill your heart to abundance. Your hands hold that beautiful bouquet, but you don’t truly realize how beautiful it was until one day you look down and your hands are empty. The garden is gone, and all you have left are the flowers that you pressed close against your heart. It’s a garden that blooms for only a short moment in time. That precious time between the innocence of childlike wonder, and the sad realization of wrong in our world. It’s a bouquet of unconditional love. Of eyes that see the best in you. Of little hands that need you. Always. Of love that snuggles deep into your soul and believes you can do no wrong, even when you feel like you are doing everything wrong. You are mama and you are the best. And when I see it in the eyes of my grandchildren when they look at their own mama, my eyes fill with tears. My heart whispers, hold these flowers. Stop and smell them. Bask in their beauty. Because it will fade. And you will realize that in the busyness of raising them, you missed how truly beautiful your garden was. Oh what a love our children have for us for a moment. Soon they are too big. Too grown up to snuggle into us and tell us how much they love us. The bond of love remains, but the garden of innocence in believing we can do no wrong soon fades. I thought on this as I watched my youngest grandchild when her mama walked through the door. The happiness in her eyes lit up the entire room, like sunshine beaming from her tiny heart. “No one else loves you like that” I thought. I pondered it all evening, but I realized I was wrong. Because I love my daughter like that. I love my children like that. Unconditionally, sacrificially, fiercely. I tend, I pray, I water, I weed with words of wisdom when asked, but my love is unconditional. There is nothing my child could do that would ever make me stop loving them. And the thought made my heart hurt a bit, because it made me miss my own mom. But then, God in all His tenderness wrapped his arms around my hurting heart and whispered. “I love you like that Charisse. Just like that.” And I thanked Him. I thanked Him for allowing me to be a mother. I thanked Him for my Mother and I thanked Him for His tenderness and unconditional love toward me. Because when I see that love reflected in my grandchildren’s eyes as their mama comes through the door, I know there is no greater feeling. And I press those flowers close to my heart. Flowers from a garden God planted many, many years ago. Hold on to that beautiful bouquet mama. It’s a precious gift. And as each flower fades, press those flowers close against your heart. A heart that will always remember the beautiful gift God gave you for a moment. A picture of His eternal love. A bouquet that never fades. “The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.” Jeremiah 31:3 “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 “As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13
5/3/2024
How Can I Rest?I am a list maker and my life is a list. It’s a good list. When life gets too busy, my husband often tells me I’m doing too much. I need to take a few things off that list. But I love everything on it. It’s a list of things I have carefully prayed about before adding each item. Asking God for wisdom and guidance. Making sure I wasn’t taking on too much, and that I was glorifying Christ in the process. I truly felt the peace of God with each one. I would be busy, but it would be a good busy.
But when I can’t get to everything on that list and I begin to fall farther and farther behind, I also begin to stress. I recently returned home from a wonderful, much needed family vacation. Many of the things on my list got put on hold, or someone graciously took over for me in my absence. I felt refreshed and ready to get back at it, until the drive home. The closer we got, the sicker I felt. I ended up ‘down for the count’ for almost two weeks. And just as I was feeling better and ready to get back at it again, my back went out in the worst way. The kind where you literally cannot move. I had been holding it together pretty good up until that point. But this was the ‘straw that broke’ Charisse’s back. I was beyond far behind. I whined. “What about all the things you told me were okay to take on Lord? How can I do that if I’m either sick or broken?” God always has this amazing way of speaking to my heart in some way. I knew I was beyond stressing. Life started piling up all around me and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. All the things I normally love to do became heavy burdens that were making me anxious and unhappy. And so, on this particular day my grandson was visiting. His brothers were all at an event that he was too young for. When it was time for his nap, my husband tucked him in and I laid down next to him in bed, making sure he went to sleep. I couldn’t do anything else anyway. We have always played scripture lullabies for the kids when they nap, and as I lay there thinking of the million and one things I was behind on, I gazed over at my grandson. Fast asleep. Not a care in the world. And as God’s child, I realized that’s exactly what He wants for me. I listened to the soft scriptures being sung and knew I was exactly where God wanted me, doing exactly what He wanted me to do. Nothing but be with Him. Trusting Him, relying on Him, and resting in Him, knowing He has everything in control and always has. “It will all still be here tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day.” He whispered to my heart. I am the One who holds all of your tomorrows. Don’t let Satan trick you into believing that the very things I put a love in your heart for, and gave you peace about, should be making you anxious and stressed out. Each one is beautiful and precious, but each one is a gift from me. It only becomes overwhelming when you aren’t resting in me.” The Holy Spirit uses scripture to speak to you in a way that nothing else can. In the quiet darkness, I was able to turn off my thoughts and simply listen to His. I didn’t think about my list. I thought about God alone, and my weary soul fell fast asleep. When did we normalize the ‘rat race’ and forget that this is the day the Lord has made. We can rejoice and be glad in it? Take it from me, I know how busy life can get and how quickly we can find ourselves drowning in the ‘to do’s’. But a prayed over life and list can be beautiful. It’s a gift from God and He never meant for it to stress us the way we allow it to. He always meant for us to see it as that gift. A gift to be used to glorify Him. Yes, we can rest but the only way we can fully accomplish that is by trusting Him. If you find yourself in circumstances beyond your control, remember the One who is in control. Find rest in His word and give that gift back to Him. SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 6:34 Romans 8:28 2 Chronicles 16:8 Psalm 46:10 Psalm 37:7 Hebrews 13:8 Psalm 9:10 Philippians 4:6-7 Romans 15:13 Psalm 118:24 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 1 Corinthians 10:31 Isaiah 43:7 Hebrews 4:9-10, 12 Colossians 3:17
4/26/2024
SubmissionSUBMISSION…
I know I’m going to get some flack for this one. I just pray that you will stick with me to the end and consider my points, but more importantly God’s word. My husband and I have completely different personalities. It’s a wonder we ever got married. I worry about everything and everyone. Too often I over analyze and over think. Time and time again I pour my heart out to my husband, and quite often he looks at me and says~ “Why do you let that stuff bother you so much? Just stop thinking about it.” (As if I have an internal on/off switch. 🙄) I often look at him in dismay. I envy that ease. I will admit that when my emotions get the best of me, his nonchalant attitude can drive me absolutely crazy. Sometimes his suggestions make me want to slap him in the face. I definitely don’t want to submit to anything he has to say in that moment. But the word of God echoes in the back of my mind… “Why take ye thought for the morrow Charisse?” And the funny thing is, when I really consider what he says, I know he is right. I just wanted my way. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not right 100% of the time, I usually am. Just kidding… sort of. 😉 Truthfully though, quite often he is right. And I need to yield. I need to listen. My heart needs to soften. I can’t allow Satan to turn something into a battle of wills, just because I want my way. Why? Because I love my husband. And because that’s what God tells me to do. God tells us in the book of Ephesians that we should submit to our fellow believers because of our awe of God and all He has done for us. I love how Paul connects the two verses on submission. It makes me think he knew a little bit about how a woman thinks. He didn’t just go straight to the woman and shout “submit!” He eases into it. He shows us how very much God loves us and all we have to be thankful for and because of that, how it should overflow to our fellow believers in submission. And as women, we can get behind that. It isn’t always easy, but we strive to support and encourage. We humbly strive to put others before ourselves.~ for the perfecting of the saints, the work of the ministry, the edifying of the body of Christ. Because if we love the Lord, we WANT to be like Christ. But then the word husband comes up. Why is that so hard for us as women? I quite often hear “No one is going to tell me what to do. I am my own boss. I am not going to obey anyone.” I am sad for those who say it. They’re missing the whole point. Here is the key: As unto the Lord. We submit to God because we love Him. We submit to our husbands out of love. It isn’t a “my way or the highway” mentality. (Yet how often do we as wives emulate this behavior?) It isn’t about them telling us what to do, and us blindly following along. It’s about mutual love, understanding and thankfulness. It’s about thinking less of ourselves and our way, and being willing to actually be one flesh and yield to the very one who is a part of us. Just like our relationship with the Lord, when we push and fight back and strive for our own ways, we are often only hurting ourselves. It is the same in our marriages. This was something very convicting to me, even though I have probably read it thousands of times. It stings. Because in my heart of hearts, I don’t always want to submit to God, or others, or my husband. Praise God that in His mercy He reminds me that the rewards are far greater than me getting my own way. Submission is a byproduct of our love. Our love for others, our love for our husbands and most importantly, our love for God. And when the love of Christ abounds in our hearts, it never seeks to win the argument, it seeks to protect the relationship. SCRIPTURE READING: Ephesians 4:12-13 Ephesians 5:2, 19-24, 31 Philippians 2:2-5 Matthew 6:34 Mark 10:7-9 James 4:7 Philippians 1:9, 11 Ephesians 3:19 *I understand there are women in extenuating circumstances. Situations like this may need counseling and 24/7 prayer. Seek out godly counsel and pray without ceasing. If you need a referral, please feel free to message me privately.
4/19/2024
How To Know God’s WillI sat on my bed in the darkness and had a talk with God. My tears seemed to mimic the weather, as the rain beat against my windows. I had been wrestling with a certain prayer request for a very long time and until today, I felt overwhelming confusion. It was always on my mind. I was constantly searching God’s word and begging for an answer. I was scared. I didn’t want to make the wrong decision. I wanted God’s will.
How do we know what God’s will is? There are times when it’s an easy answer. Black and white. You get in His word. If the request in question goes against what God’s word clearly teaches, that’s your answer. But there are some things that are just plain hard and unclear. And that’s where I found myself. And in the process, I found myself slowly giving up. In the battle, I got tired. I didn’t want to fight. I wanted to stop trying to figure it out. I became melancholy and slowly, satan tried to convince me that the easy route was the only route. But THE Holy Spirit dwells within me! Christ’s power rests on me and even though I may have felt done physically, God was not done. His Spirit continued to whisper to my heart that I needed to seek wisdom. I did not have my answer yet. And so I did. Whenever the question came to mind, I begged God for wisdom. That was all I could do. Today my husband expressed his concerns. He noticed the melancholy state I was in, even though I thought I was hiding it well. I argued with his assumption but when he left for the day, I got into God’s word again and God’s word got into me. And after months of confusion, in His time He answered. And I knew. I had a peace. And that’s when the tears fell. Too often I find myself trying to figure life out in the flesh. My flesh is so weak. I worry and wonder more than I pray. I had to completely let go of me. I had to keep seeking God until He answered. Oswald Chambers said it so eloquently~ “The weakest saint can experience the power of the Deity of the Son of God if once he is willing to let go. The power IS the Holy Ghost, not something He imparts. No power on earth or in hell can conquer the Spirit of God in a human spirit. It is unconquerable. Don’t cave in because you have been baffled. Get at it again. Stand committed to God.” God knew that I needed to read that today. He knew I needed to read the exact verses He gave me this morning. Through this process, when seeking God’s will I have found: 1. In the weakness of my flesh, I can be tempted to give up, but God never does. He never gives up on us. 2. If you want to know God’s will, you must know God. It is of utmost importance that we hide His word in our hearts daily. Stay in His word. 3. Because of the battle, my prayers have been constant, my faith has increased and my strength has been renewed. All in God’s beautiful timing. Don’t stop praying, don’t stop seeking, don’t stop asking! 4. God’s love has completely and utterly overwhelmed me. Again. 5. I will continually glorify Him. And so in the quiet of my bedroom as the rain and tears fell, He sat there on the bed with me. He listened. And He answered. As cliche as this might sound, the rain stopped and the sun came out. I don’t think that’s a coincidence, and I don’t take it for granted. He is such a great God. I don’t know why God has us wait for His answer, but I do know that He knows~ and that’s all that matters. Not only did I have peace, He strengthened my faith and refreshed my soul. He gave me His answer and I was ready for the fight. SCRIPTURE READING: 1 Thessalonians 5:17, Acts 17:11, John 5:39, Romans 8:9, 1 Corinthians 6:19, 2 Corinthians 12:9, John 14:16, 26&27, James 1:5, Matthew 26:41, Philippians 1:6, 1 John 5:14-15, 20, Psalm 119:10-11, Ephesians 3:16-21, Romans 1:17, 1 Chronicles 16:11, Psalm 31:24, Colossians 1:11, John 11:22, Matthew 7:7-8, Psalm 70:4, Psalm 86:12, Hebrews 13:15, 1 Timothy 6:12
4/12/2024
As He SaidMany years ago, someone I cared for very deeply broke a promise they made to me. It truly crushed me, and it took me years to get past.
The pain ran deep. I found in those moments that we as Christians can do one of two things. We can either~ 1. Let the brokenness of humanity turn into bitterness and scar our relationship with Jesus and our trust in His promises to us, or~ 2. We can cling to those promises, understanding that Jesus will never break a promise He has made to us. Ever. I pondered this fact last Sunday as I read the gospel of Matthew and came across three small words in his resurrection account. Three words that broke through every trust barrier. Three simple words that meant everything to me. “AS HE SAID.” What a promise!!! Every promise in God’s word points to the gospel, and all of God’s promises are fulfilled directly or indirectly in Christ. Every promise made before His birth and every promise made after His glorious resurrection. Everything God has promised has been fulfilled or will be fulfilled, just as He said. Because Jesus is alive. He is no longer dead. Just as He said. Too often I take God’s promises for granted. I pick and choose the ones I want to cling to, instead of clinging to God Himself. I want physical results. I want that peace. I want that joy. I want that comfort. I want the promise. I forget about the praise. The praise in the promises He fulfills every single day. Promises to forgive. To meet my daily needs. To love me no matter what. To never leave me. To work all things out for my good. Promises that through His salvation I will be with Him for all eternity. As He said. I also find it interesting that God used Matthew to add those three small (but powerful) words in the first account of Christ’s resurrection. Matthew didn’t use a litany of proficient words to prove his trust in His Savior. “As He said.” That’s it. I am sure Matthew had trouble believing people when they made promises. As a tax collector, he was all about the facts. Either you paid or you didn’t. But this. This was fact. Jesus paid every debt ever owed. He was, and is alive. Just as He said. Choose to look to Christ today and rest in His promises. Take a lesson from Matthew, who knew the state of humanity all too well. Don’t allow past relationships to cause bitterness or scar your relationship with Christ. There isn’t a single minute you have to doubt Him and His love for you. In the middle of His horrific death on the cross, nothing looked good. It seemed all was lost. But God. God remembered His promises to all of mankind, His promises to me and His promises to you, and He fulfilled them. I do not say this lightly. I understand the pain many of you are going through right now. No matter how horrific your circumstances might be or what you might be in the middle of at this very moment, He will not break His promises to you. Cling to them, but more importantly~ cling to Him. He promises to meet our needs. He promises to hear our prayers. He promises peace, joy, comfort, mercy, strength and protection. He promises a love that never fails. He promises the salvation of our souls and eternity in heaven. He promises Himself. He promises to work everything out for your good~ just as He promised that He would raise from the dead. Let that sink in. JUST AS HE SAID. SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 28:6, 2 Peter 1:4, 2 Corinthians 1:18-2, Philippians 4:7, Psalm 16:11, Psalm 23:4, Psalm 94:17-19, John 14:17-18, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Luke 1:72, Ephesians 2:4, Psalm 66:20, Psalm 100:5, Psalm 32:7, Isaiah 41:10, Colossians 1:11-14, Ephesians 1:7, Philippians 4:19, John 10:28-30, 1 John 5:11-15, Ephesians 2:4-7, 2 Corinthians 4:18, Romans 8:18, 28, 31-32, 35, 37-39, Psalm 31:14-15
4/5/2024
The Only One Who MattersI was asked to pray over my daughter-in-law at a recent baby shower our family held in her honor.
Talking out loud to God used to be an issue for me. In group settings I would focus more on what I was going to say when it was my turn to pray, than on the prayers already being said. I’m embarrassed to admit that because I worried so much about how others perceived me, I avoided praying out loud. I always ended up calling on someone else to pray during my ladies Bible studies at church. God gently showed me that I was making prayer all about me. I wanted to be perceived as a godly prayer warrior, and too often I was going through the motions instead of simply talking to my God. Once my eyes were opened, praying in public became sweet because I knew Jesus was sitting right there with me, and that was all that mattered. I was talking to Him alone. And so, the baby shower… If you have been here a while, you know that my son and his wife could not get pregnant for years. It was a sorrowful heaviness that was almost too much to bear. But God!! God performed breathtaking miracles in their lives, and our precious baby Noelle is due in May. A myriad of emotions were felt as I began to pray for my daughter-in-law, and attempted to glorify God in that moment. My mind knew what I was trying to communicate, but my mouth did not. Suddenly I was the blubbering, tongue tied mother-in-law. The tears came and to be honest, I don’t even know what I prayed. What I do know is this. As I struggled to mouth the words my heart felt, I paused and remembered I was talking to my heavenly Daddy. In that moment it was as if it was only He and I, and I felt His love wrap around me, and Shannon, and baby Noelle. I had a complete peace that God knew my heart. He knew my thoughts. He knew the love I felt for Him in that moment and the joy He had given me. He knew I wanted to glorify. And so, I let the tears fall and I just talked to Him. If you have ever felt like I have when it comes to public prayer, or maybe you have even felt that way in private, please let me assure you that our amazing Heavenly Father does not want you to feel that way. Jesus is alive and real. Our Heavenly Father isn’t some far away, out of touch God up in the sky. He is right there next to you. In your midst and in your heart. You are talking to the Kings of Kings. What a beautiful thing that is. Our God, who holds the oceans in His hands, yet bends down to listen to the small cries of our pleading souls. The Creator of the stars. The Father who keeps every one of your tears in His bottle. Who knows of every sand on the sea shore yet every hair on your head. He is the Father who is talking to you!! Hearing even the thoughts you cannot utter. Laughing with you. Crying with you. Feeling every emotion, and reassuring you of His love. So sweet friend~Just talk to Him. Nothing fancy. Just you and Jesus. Because when you’re talking to Jesus, He is the only one who matters. ❤️ SCRIPTURE READING: Matthew 18:20 Ephesians 3:17-19 Philippians 4:7 Psalm 44:21 I Samuel 16:7 Psalm 139:1-2,4,6 Psalm 16:11 Isaiah 40:12 Luke 12:6-7 Psalm 139:17-18 Romans 8:26-27 John 10:29 Psalm 56:8 Hebrews 4:15-16 I John 4:16, 18-19 Jeremiah 29:12-13 Psalm 116:1-2
3/29/2024
It’s In The ExpectingWe always hid Easter baskets for our kids when they were little. They absolutely loved finding those baskets, even when it got too hard and they were prompted with the timeless hints of “hot” and “cold”. Why did they love it so much? The expecting. They were expecting a basket full of joy because of all it held inside. What are we expecting? Sadly, many of us have grown cold. We have gotten farther and farther away from the joy that comes in the expected. And in the coldness, time spent with God has become a duty. Church should never be just a duty. It’s not a job where you clock in and clock out. It’s not a “Christmas and Easter only” facility, yet that’s how many of us view it. What are we expecting when we walk through the doors? Are we expecting God’s presence to wash over us as we sing to Him? As we hear His words, are we expecting those words to change our heart and soul? Are we expecting those words to bring life? Or, do we simply attend expecting nothing at all and leave with the same emptiness we had before we came? Clock in. Clock out. Three days after Christ was crucified a heartbroken Mary went to His tomb. What was she expecting? She wasn’t expecting emptiness, yet that’s what she found. She found emptiness because she wasn’t searching for life. Mary could have left that day with a continued emptiness. With a heavy sorrow. What was different? Unlike so many of us, in her emptiness Mary realized how desperately she needed the Savior and it was in that moment that He revealed Himself to her by simply saying her name. Mary. And she knew. He was alive. His presence washed over her and her heart was changed. The tomb was empty but her heart was full. Life can get hard, but it doesn’t have to be. God is always prompting us to draw closer. We don’t have to remain cold. Just like a child searching for and expecting to find a basket full of joy, let me encourage you to expect the unexpected this Easter. What can make the difference? Search for life. The difference comes in the expecting. An empty tomb. A risen Savior.A life changed. A heart full. A basket full of joy because of all it holds inside. What are you expecting? Whatever you are looking for is what you will find~and everything you’re looking for can be found in Christ. *Repost
3/22/2024
Holding Hope Again In 2024I will never forget the first time I was introduced to Jesus as more than just a cold, religious statue hanging on the big wall of our church.
I was 7. I was sitting at her table looking up at her. I thought she had the kindest eyes and made the best peanut butter sandwiches. She always gave us potato chips on the side. To this day I love sweet and salty together. She was talking about Jesus like she knew him personally. I didn’t really understand what she was telling me. To be honest, I don’t remember much about it at all. Until the end. I could hear my brothers playing with her kids outside and I wanted to go play with them. And then I heard my mom ringing our dinner bell, and I knew I better get home. And that’s when she said these words~ ”So Charisse, if you pray and ask Jesus to be your Savior, I will write that in this bible and you can take it home!” Man, I wanted that bible. It was red and shiny and new. It was amazing to my little eyes. We didn’t own a bible, except for the big storybook one my mom read to us at night. This was a real bible! A bible that would belong to me? I nodded my head and told her I would pray. A few days later that bible was mine. It sat on my nightstand like my most prized possession. I was so proud I owned something so important. Time went by. Days turned into years. We moved several times. We went through a lot of heartache. I have no doubt that my sweet neighbor prayed for little, 7 year old Charisse after she gave her that bible, and I have no doubt she continued to pray. My parents split up. Without warning my mom packed up our belongings, showed up at our school and we drove away. I never got to say goodbye to my friends. I was confused and hurting. Did my dad know where we were going? Why wasn’t he with us? A year passed. A year full of fighting and sadness. My mom moved us from our wonderful farm to the big city. Everything was scary to me. Back on our farm our beloved dog had been shot and killed, which added to the sadness. For the last ten years he had been our faithful, loving companion. There were a lot of ugly parts about my story that year. It seemed like my tears were constant. But then one day a glimmer of hope touched my heart. My parents made the decision that they would try again, this time with God. We found a church close by and started attending regularly. Week by week I could see a change in my mom and dad. Week by week I felt a change in my own heart. I was hearing things that were vaguely familiar to me. I was attending Sunshine Girl’s club at church one Monday night and it all came flooding back. Even though 5 years had passed, I remembered like it was yesterday. I remembered her kind eyes telling me about Jesus. I remembered the immense love she had for Him, as if He were a real person, and not just a statue. I remembered her telling me what the word sin meant and I remembered at the time not truly understanding. But here I was now. I finally understood. My teacher explained that God sent His Son Jesus to earth for me. That He was born in a manger only to die a horrible death on the cross. All for the sins of mankind. She told us that this was God’s gift to us. That if we understood that we were sinners and we were repentant of those sins, our great God would forgive us. All because of Jesus. He could be my Savior. This was too wonderful for me. I knew now why my sweet neighbor loved Him so much. She knew Him personally. He took away her sins and saved her from eternity in hell. He loved her immensely, more than she could ever love Him. And He loved me. I asked my teacher if I could talk to her after class and that day I knelt down in the back of that little church and asked Jesus if He would take away my sins and be my Savior too. I didn’t have a single doubt that He wouldn’t, and my life has forever been changed. I went home that night and dug that red bible out of the box in my closet. And I remembered. Hope filled my heart that day. I knew that no matter what my future held, Jesus would be right there with me. I would forever have that hope. Maybe it was the testimony of my kind neighbor and the love she had for her Jesus. Maybe it was her prayers for me and my family. Maybe it was her words that God burrowed deep into my heart until the day He knew I would truly receive them. Or maybe it was all of these things. Sometimes I lose sight of why I started this page. Satan knows how to discourage and get in my head. He tells me my words aren’t good enough. He tells me there are much better bloggers out there. He tells me I’m not worthy to pen words of hope to others because my own life is such a mess. But then I remember that little, 7 year old girl and the hope that was shared with her so long ago. The hope that kept her going and continues to be with her every single day. I might be a mess, but if we’re honest with ourselves~aren’t we all? And that’s where Satan will never have the victory~our hope is not dependent on us. It’s not dependent on our past or our future or how good we are or how messed up we are. Our hope is in Jesus alone and His finished work on the cross. I’m not here to share Charisse. I’m sharing Jesus. I’m right there with all of you in your struggles and heartaches, in your sadness and in your joys. I’m sharing that hope that only Jesus can give. I will continue to share and I will continue to pray for you all~ just like my neighbor did so many years ago. Because I want you to have that same hope burrowed deep inside your heart. A hope that will forever change your life. I can’t even tell you the number of bibles I’ve owned since I was 7, but I still have that red bible. It’s not shiny and new anymore but it is still my prized possession because no matter what I have gone through in the last 47 years, it has always been there~ Holding Hope.
3/15/2024
The Power Of A MamaI looked into my daughter’s eyes. They were scared and filled with tears, desperately looking for answers. They were crying “Please help me.” without saying a word. And 30 years flashed by in that moment…
I saw her tiny eyes when they opened for the very first time. They called me “Mama”, without saying a word. I saw her tiny, 2 year old eyes when I joined the other mamas at the church nursery door. With relief they cried, “There you are mama.” without saying a word. I saw her tiny, 4 year old eyes in pain when she broke her collar bone. They cried “Please take away this pain.” without saying a word. I saw her little, 5 year old eyes hold on to mine as she left for her first day of school. They cried “I will miss you so much.” without saying a word. I saw her little, 7 year old eyes on the platform during the spring concert. They searched for me among a sea of faces in the school auditorium. When they found me they smiled and said, “I’m so glad you’re here.” without saying a word. I saw her big girl, 15 year old eyes on the basketball court when she made that shot. They turned to see if I saw, and when they locked with mine I cried, “I’m so proud of you.” without saying a word. I saw her big girl, 18 year old eyes filled with tears as we said goodbye in front of her dormitory. I could not speak for the lump in my throat, my eyes cried “It’s too soon. I’m not ready. There’s so much more I need to teach you, but you will do amazing and I will miss you more than you will ever know.”, without ever saying a word. I saw her adult eyes filled with happiness when she walked down that aisle. They caught mine and my heart cried, “God is answering my prayers today, even though I wish you could stay my little girl a little longer.” But my eyes reflected her happiness, without saying a word. When she held her newborn for the very first time, I saw her mama eyes. Her heart smiled through them and when they caught mine I cried, “How can this be? My baby had a baby.” and my own heart filled with unexplainable love, without saying a word. But then, I saw her scared, confused sorrow filled eyes as they pleaded for help, and the tears spilled down her cheeks. And the “hard” hit like it never has before. I held her. And I let those eyes cry. I didn’t have the answers. I couldn’t take the “hard” away. And when she looked into my eyes, I wiped her tears away and cried “I will always, always be here for you. I may not always have the answers, but I will hold you, and pray for you, and love you forever.” without ever saying a word. Oh mama. Those eyes are always searching for yours. On days when you don’t feel like you measure up. On days when you feel like you blew it. On days when you don’t have the answers for the hard questions. Those eyes will still look for yours. They need you and they will always look for yours. Because you are mama. I have verbally said all of these things to my children, but sometimes our children don’t need answers, they just need our presence. Your presence holds the very essence of what a mama is. When they look into your eyes, make sure that’s what they see. Strength, guidance, nurturing and loyalty. Protection, pride, comfort and unconditional love. In the pain, in the background, in the crowd, in the big steps and small ones, in the heartache and the happiness. As long as you are alive, even in their old age~be present. Because your presence says it all, without ever saying a word. That’s the power of a mama. “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb?” Isaiah 49:15 “As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13
3/8/2024
He Knows You BetterAs I sat crying, I wondered how my mind could be so powerful, and yet so weak. It has the power to convince me of lies, and then the weakness to believe those lies.
Even though I know God knows everything about me, even though I know He knows my every thought, in my weakness I try to be strong. I realized today that I haven’t been an open book with God lately. As I prayed, my mind told me that I should not say “those words” out loud to Him. I dare not complain. I dare not list the thousand and one things that weigh me down, emotionally and spiritually. Because~ “That’s not what a good Christian does when they pray. Certainly God doesn’t want to be bothered with my petty problems, or pain from the past that I so easily succumb to.” You know me. I’ve written several posts about pouring your heart out to God. I have an easy time bringing all the big things to Him in prayer, but sometimes I don’t think to bring Him all the little things as well. And without me realizing, the little things continue to pile up on top of the big things. Suddenly I feel buried. Somehow I convinced myself that I shouldn’t expose my humanness to Him. He would be so disappointed. I have to push those thoughts aside. I have to fight the good fight. How silly of me. How weak of me to think I somehow have that power to hide those thoughts from God. I may not express them, but He knows every single one of them. And so, today I told him ALL of it. As each thing came to mind (and there were A LOT of “things”), I talked to Him about it. At times, I felt like a failure. So weak. How did I get to this place? This place of melancholy and lack of joy. This place of feeling burdened, misunderstood and alone. My heart already knew how. Because I never talked to Him about it to begin with. I just kept “trying”. Trying to be good in my own strength. Trying to tell myself that this is not how a Pastor’s wife and christian blogger should think. “Trying” in our humanness is pride. Pride because somehow we think we can do this life without God, even if it’s a life that we think honors Him. Without Him, we are nothing. And ladies, today as I poured out my heart~all my failures, all my thoughts, all my weaknesses and selfish motives and all my fears~ God was with me. He sat with me as I cried, and His word reminded me that He already knew all of my heart before I ever chose to reveal it to Him. He had been waiting for me to do just that. And once I did, my heart felt free. Through the tears I praised Him. I praised Him for never giving up on me. I praised Him for saving my soul. I praised Him for all the blessings in my life. I praised Him for listening and loving me. I praised Him for the peace that came over me and the joy that He restored. I praised Him for always giving me a word from His word, exactly what I need every single time. I praised Him for His grace. Ladies, don’t ever be embarrassed to talk to God. Don’t ever think you have to have it all together before you can come to Him, or that somehow you have to hide your true feelings as you talk to Him. We might not always know how to process our humanness and the emotions we are feeling, but God does~ so why do we even try to figure it out on our own? He knows you far better than you know you. Cast all your cares on Him, never forgetting how very much He cares for you. His grace will always, always be sufficient for exactly what we need. SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 38:8-10, 15 Psalm 39:7 Psalm 40:1-3, 5, 16 Psalm 55:22 Psalm 116:1-2 Psalm 139:1-12 Matthew 11:28 1 Peter 5:7 2 Corinthians 12:9 Galatians 5:1 Isaiah 58:6, 8-9 John 15:4-5, 11
3/1/2024
Please BewareEvery single day I have to block fraudulent profiles on my Holding Hope page. They usually attach themselves to someone else who has already commented on one of my posts, and seek their “friendship” with kind and inviting words. Their profiles always look professional, and quite often they pose as men in the military or medical field. They prey on women, hoping to catch someone unaware of who they really are. They appear to be one thing, but are completely the opposite. Please beware~
They aren’t your friend. They don’t want to be your friend. They want to steal your identity and destroy you. I couldn’t help but see a comparison. Scripture warns us that Satan is subtle and goes about sneaking and seeking. He gets into our heads. He lies, accuses, corrupts, destroys and steals~all while looking like an angel of light. He preys on our weaknesses, and once he has gotten into our heads he has us believing all his lies. ◦ Lies about relationships and loneliness: telling you that you will always be alone. ◦ Lies about insecurities, comparison and jealousy: she’s better, smarter, prettier, happier. ◦ Lies about social media: convincing you that this is what life is all about, this is what life should be. This is the life you will never have. ◦ Lies about self pity: no one cares about you. No one sees how hard you work. Your life is so hard. ◦ Lies about your job. ◦ Lies about your pride. ◦ Lies about what other people think. ◦ Lies about your spouse and your marriage. ◦ Lies about your church. ◦ Lies about your life. ◦ Even lies about Christ. What is a Christian to do? How can we possibly fight this? If Satan is that subtle, how will we even know what is a lie and what is truth? And that’s why week after week I post scripture. I cannot emphasize this enough~ my words cannot fight off the lies~ but God!!!! His words are power and we HAVE TO KNOW them!! We overcome when we continually draw nigh to God, by the blood of the Lamb, Christ Jesus our Savior. By the testimony of others. By God’s grace. By the power of Christ. By faith. By being rooted and grounded in His love. We overcome by acknowledging God in every single decision, by asking the Holy Spirit to shed light in our hearts and by being strong in the Lord. How do I know this? Because God’s word says so! I reminded you last week that the Christian life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a battle. We have to know who our enemy is but more importantly~ we have to know who GOD is. Let me tell you just a few of HIS truths: ◦ You’re never alone ◦ You’re eternally loved ◦ You’re who God created you to be ◦ EVERYTHING we need is written in HIS word ◦ Our identity is in Christ ◦ He is our all in all Please beware~Satan wants to steal your identity. He will sneak into your thoughts, comments and actions, all the while telling you lies you carelessly believe. That fraudulent friend request will continually come. Satan will never stop until we are at home in heaven. Every single day, every single thing we need is in Jesus, the Son of God. Hold tight to that truth, rooted and grounded in the love of your Savior, Redeemer, Comforter and Friend. Our God who gave us eternal life. Our God who cannot lie. Seek wisdom and discernment through His word. In all your ways acknowledge Him. His light will not only show you the lies of the enemy, His light will show you the truth. The truth that only comes from the truest Friend. SCRIPTURE READING: James 4:4 James 4:6-8 Proverbs 3:5-6 2 Corinthians 4:4, 6, 8-10 Ephesians 6:10-13 Revelation 12:9-12 2 Corinthians 11:3 John 10:10 John 8:44 2 Corinthians 11:14 1 Peter 5:8-9 Hebrews 13:5-6 Deuteronomy 31:6 Jeremiah 31:3 Ephesians 2:10 Psalm 139:14 Galatians 2:20 Romans 8:37-39 Colossians 3:1-2, 23-24 Galatians 6:3 Romans 8:14-17 Ephesians 3:17-19 1 Corinthians 15:28 Psalm 119 John 15:14-16 Zephaniah 3:17 Titus 1:2-3 Colossians 3:16
2/23/2024
Hope and PraiseI know heartbreak. I know darkness. I know loneliness, sadness, depression, questions and sleepless nights. I share quotes about circumstances like these often, because I know they’re real. I’ve experienced each one. My countenance may have looked fine to the outside world, but during those moments the pain ran deep.
David is a perfect example of what each of us may go through at some point in our lives. In Psalms 5:11&12 we read of David shouting for joy, proclaiming God’s goodness. In the very next chapter (6:6-9) he tells us he is weary and groaning, filling his eyes with grief and his bed with tears. The Christian life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. It’s a battle. And it’s hard. And I’ve been in the middle of it. But the “hard” doesn’t stay. Praise God. It doesn’t stay my friend. And that’s why I started this page. Because of that hope. I know it exists, and I want to give God all the glory for it. In the past, when I have felt as if I couldn’t see an even a twinkle of light in the darkness that surrounded me, I did not give up on that hope. Because I remembered. I closed my eyes and whispered the name of Jesus. And the remembrance of all the times He has brought me through the heartaches and pain became incredible light flooding my darkness. I held on to that light. I held on to Jesus. So today’s post is going to be a little different. Today’s post I glorify God. I’m not going to dwell on the bad. There’s enough of that in the world today. I want to dwell on all the good. His goodness lasts forever. His mercies are new every morning. He is always faithful. His love is infinite. His comfort is constant. His peace truly passes understanding. Maybe you’re wondering when there will ever be a breakthrough, or when that peace and comfort will come. That’s why our testimonies are so important. People need your story. Satan wants to keep us in the dark. He wants us defeated. He wants us to lose our hope and give up. He wants us to forget about God and all His promises and answered prayers. He wants us to forget that God has saved our wretched soul from hell with the incredible, unfathomable gift of His Son Jesus. And when we’re in the middle of that pain, He wants us to feel alone. You are not alone dear friend. Jesus is standing in the middle with you. Let’s remind the hurting and broken world today what God has done for us. Let’s be like the disciple John who said “This is the disciple which testifieth of these things, and wrote these things: and we know that his testimony is true. And there are also many other things which Jesus did, the which, if they should be written every one, I suppose that even the world itself could not contain the books that should be written. Amen.” John 21:24-25 Let’s be lights in the darkness today. Let’s share God’s glory by sharing our testimonies. How God gave us hope. How He answered prayer. How He worked miracles. How He helped us overcome. How He placed scripture in our heart and people in our path. Psalm 107:2 tells us~ Let the redeemed of the Lord say so… Let’s “say so!” Let’s praise our amazing Savior together~ And give each other something to hold on to. HOPE SCRIPTURE READING: Psalm 4:6&7 Lamentations 3:19-26 Isaiah 61:3, 25:1, 41:10&13, 43:2 Psalm 102:18, 71:14-21, 42:4&5 I Chronicles 23:30 Deuteronomy 10:21 I Peter 1:7 Psalms 5:11, 9:1&2, 27:1&3, 13&14, 28:7, 29:2, 26:7, 30:5, 10-12, 34:3&4, 35:18&28, 40:3, 45:17, 50:23, 52:9, 63:3&4, 6&7, 107:6-9, 13-15, 109:26&27, 30, 119:164, 150:6 Psalm 139 Psalm 145
2/16/2024
It’s Not Okay“I’m so sorry.”
“God is in control.” “Give it to Him.” “He has a plan.” “It’s going to be okay.” “God will give you the peace that passes understanding.”… But what if He doesn’t?? These are often the words of friends and loved ones when someone is going through trauma. They’re meant to comfort, but sometimes they don’t. What if your soul is completely wrecked? You’ve prayed. You’ve cried. You’ve begged, you’ve asked. But God remains silent. The pain does not dissipate. This week my husband and I were babysitting our four grandsons. The 2 year old tried to copy his older brother and ended up falling off of a bench. We knew immediately that something was very wrong. His parents were almost 2 hours from home, so we had to get permission to take him to the hospital. It broke my heart. His little body was hurting and he didn’t understand. Throughout the process of exams and X-rays and more exams and more X-rays, his big blue eyes looked lost. He was scared and crying. And over and over his grandpa and the doctors and the nurses sweetly repeated “it’s okay”. I even said it. But it wasn’t okay. Nothing he was going through felt okay. He only wanted to be held. He asked for his daddy, but even after His daddy came home and held him, he cried~because the pain did not go away. He had a broken collarbone and bruised ribs. I kept replaying it in my mind. How many times had we tried to reassure him that “it was okay”. Clearly it wasn’t okay. It was just our way of trying to soothe him. And how often do we as Christian’s do this with others when they are going through their own pain and heartache. When the tears won’t stop and they don’t understand why. We try to comfort with our words, but our words don’t give them the answers they’re seeking. It reminded me of the story of Job in the Bible, and all the heartache he went through. His friends had good intentions in the beginning, they truly desired to comfort him~they even cried with him. But in the end, they didn’t have the answers. Their words didn’t help because they weren’t the words that Job needed, they were the words of those lacking empathy. My grandson had to go through a lot of pain during his exams and X-rays. It was heart wrenching. The crazy thing is, there is no help for a broken collarbone. We do what we can to ease the pain. We are gentle with him, we console, we pray, but ultimately there is no answer. And so we try to give him the comfort he longs for. If you have a friend or loved one going through heartache of their own, you might not have an answer for them either. We can try to give hope. We can encourage with God’s word. We can say it’s going to be okay, but ultimately we can’t fix it or make it better. Only God can. Comfort comes in many forms. Everyone’s view of comfort is different. Ask God for wisdom and discernment when seeking to comfort, but more importantly ask Him to give you compassion and empathy for that particular person. Not what YOU would desire, but what THEY need. Sometimes it’s best just to love on them. Pray for them. Listen to them. Be there with them and cry with them. Don’t try to have all the answers. And if you are going though that pain yourself, be raw with God, just like Job was. There is nothing wrong with just pouring your heart out to Him. Letting the tears flow. Telling Him you don’t understand. Then crying some more. There’s such a lesson to be learned through the child like faith of a toddler. Isaiah doesn’t know how long he has to endure this pain. He doesn’t know why he is hurting, nor does he demand answers from his daddy. Day after day he crawls up onto his daddy’s lap, simply seeking comfort. He cries unashamedly. His daddy can’t take the pain away, but baby Isaiah trusts him fully to care for him as he heals, and ease the pain with his presence. And that’s exactly what we need to do in the middle of our own pain. Despite not having answers. Despite the heart ache, don’t give up hope… Day after day, climb up into your heavenly Daddy’s lap and trust him fully through the tears. Of this I am sure~ your healing will come. Romans 8:28 SCRIPTURE READING: James 5:11 1 Peter 1:6-9 1 Peter 5:7 Psalm 103:13-14 Psalm 91:4-5, 11-12, 14-15 Job 10:15 Job 16:2 , 4-5, 20-21 Job 1:22 Job 42:10 Job 13:15 1 Thessalonians 4:9 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
2/9/2024
God’s Love Versus My LoveMy love for God does not determine His love for me, and your love for God doesn’t determine His love for you.
I am so thankful He reminded me of that fact again this morning, because I had convinced myself that~ I don’t love God. Why? Because some days I serve out of worry about what others will think of me, and not out of love. I do things just so I’ll be positively perceived, then label myself a “people pleaser”. Because some days I don’t keep His commandments, or I feel like I am hanging on by a thread and I don’t want to be strong in the Lord. Some days I don’t even want go out into the world and share His love. Yesterday was one of those days. Yesterday I was on a rollercoaster of emotions. I convinced myself I must not love God because my actions proved otherwise. ◦ If you say you have no sin, you’re a liar. ◦ Be not weary in well doing. ◦ If you do it for the least, you do it for Me. ◦ The greatest of these is love. ◦ If you love me, keep my commandments. ✓ Fail. Fail. Fail. But then God reminded me of something very important. I am human. I may have the bad days, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love Him. And it never, ever means that He doesn’t love me. Human love does not compare to God’s love, because we aren’t perfect. Too often I treat the ones I am supposed to love the most in this world, the worst. I can’t believe I am admitting this, but I have actually said the words “I hate you” to my husband in the heat of an argument. He’s my person. My best friend. My soul mate. But I am human, and sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I convince myself he doesn’t love me. I want to stay angry. I want to wallow, sulk, and avoid. But my heart knows that despite these feelings, I love him more than life itself. And so, we apologize. We admit we were wrong. We reconcile. We spend time together and we focus on each other. When our relationship is the priority, the bad emotions dissipate. I know I am loved. Yesterday as I was feeling my worst, God did something pretty amazing. He sent me a box of chocolates in the mail. If you know me, you know I love chocolate. He put that thought into a sweet friend’s heart, and she sent them. In all His amazing love and understanding, God knew the exact moment I would need to receive her card and gift. That reminder that I am loved by Him. When I opened it, I laughed through the tears. God’s love is never determined by our works, our accomplishments or our failures. God is love. Period. Nothing can separate us from that love. What a God we have. If you’ve ever been on an emotional rollercoaster like me and feel you have failed God, maybe it’s time to shut the world out and just be in His presence. Admit your feelings to Him. Apologize if necessary. Reconcile. Focus on God and make that relationship the priority. Feel His amazing love wrapped around you as you spend time with Him, and be reminded~ ✓ He will never leave you or forsake you. ✓ He understands our humanness. ✓ His love is not dependent on ours. ✓ Nothing will separate us from His love. ✓ You are loved with an everlasting love. ✓ We love because He first loved us. When I say to Jesus~”Help me to love you better.” When I ask the Holy Spirit to increase that love. When I take the time to be with God, really be with Him, talking to Him, listening to Him, reading His word~ that amazing love dissipates all negative emotions. I know beyond a doubt that God loves me and in turn, I want to share that love with everyone. Not out of duty. Not to be perceived in a positive way, but because the posture of my heart changes. My heart recognizes how deeply I am loved. Because God is love. Period. SCRIPTURE READING: 1 John 1:8, Galatians 6:9-10, Matthew 25:40, 1 Corinthians 13:13, John 14:15, Hebrews 13:5b, Psalm 78:37-39, Hebrews 4:15-16, Romans 8:35, 37-39, Jeremiah 31:3, 1 John 4:7, 10-11, 16, 19, Ephesians 3:16-19
2/2/2024
Love Like JesusMy sister in law was only 35 years old when she passed away in 2003 from complications in child birth. Many of you know the story. She died 6 days after giving birth to her 6th child. It broke me. My heart yearned to comfort her children, and take care of her baby. Just a few months later my own mother unexpectedly passed away, and my heart yearned for the comfort that only she could give. Comfort I had grown to lean on, from the one person who was now gone forever.
Wednesday was the anniversary of my sister in laws home going. It also happened to be the anniversary of another mother’s home going. The mama of a dear friend of mine. Two mothers who went home to heaven, and left children behind. Young and old. It really made me think~no matter the time that is passed or how old we are, the day our mama leaves us will always be hard. I thought about the posts I made last week. Posts about mamas, and the comments I received. Some women shared that they have never experienced that love and comfort that I spoke of. And I thought about my own children. Some are going through a very difficult time right now. As I was praying for them late one night, I was aware of the fact that one day I will be gone, and that “mama”comfort will be gone with me. The comfort in praying without ceasing, in encouraging and listening. The comfort in sharing laughter, hugs and tears. The comfort of loving unconditionally and sacrificing without limit. The comfort I will always try to give, because I am their mom. What happens when we lose that? It is a grief that cannot be put into words, because our hearts know~ no one loves you like your mom. And what if we never had that to begin with? It is an emptiness that can’t be explained. This week I shared another post, one that reminded us not to take for granted those who speak life into us, and encourage us. They are a gift from God. And that’s what motivated me to challenge you today. We live in a world full of hurting people. Health and financial burdens seem hopeless. Marriages and wayward children weigh heavy. The loss of a spouse or child leaves devastation, and grieving children~all those who have lost their mother, or never experienced a mother’s love to begin with, feel utterly alone. Who will step up and comfort them? Who will speak life into them? Who will encourage them? Who will fill that emptiness and be that gift from God to a broken soul? Our God is the God of all comfort, and we are instructed in His word to love as He does. When life is going good, and even when life is filled with pain~it’s easy to give that much for our children, but it isn’t always easy to give that much to another. To pray without ceasing. To encourage and uplift. To always be there for someone. To talk and cry and to love unconditionally. That’s sacrifice. That’s being Christ-like. I long to know that someone will be that for my children after I am gone. And with that thought I am convicted that I also need to be that for others while I am here, when life is good and even when life is painful. Not because I am a mother, and not because I had a wonderful mother, but because I have a good and wonderful Father. The beautiful fact is this. You don’t have to be a mother to love and comfort and encourage others like God does and you don’t have to have a personal experience of having that comfort that only a mother can give. You just have to have God. Love. Love like God. What a gift He has given us. A precious gift we ALL need to share. SCRIPTURE READING 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Psalm 34:18 Hebrews 12:12 Philippians 2:4 Ephesians 4:32 John 13:34-35 1 John 3:17-18 Matthew 25:37-40 Galatians 5:13-14 Galatians 6:2, 10 Colossians 3:12 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Proverbs 12:25 1 Peter 4:8-10 Isaiah 66:13
1/26/2024
Your Child’s In BetweenYOUR CHILD’S “IN BETWEEN”.
When I recall my early childhood, I wish that I could adequately express all the beautiful emotions and joy I feel, then wrap up those words and give that gift to all of you. I feel the same emotions and joy when I recall raising my own children. Words cannot describe it. Every moment wasn’t perfect. A lot of being a mama was messy, but all of it was beautiful. And it still is. I read a verse this week that really spoke to my heart. “As one whom his mother comforts, so will I comfort you.” Isaiah 66:13. It stopped me in my tracks. God was comparing the comfort He gives to that of a mother’s. He didn’t say His comfort was greater, He said it was just like a mother’s. That is pretty profound. What a significant role a mama plays in the lives of her children. Something a child doesn’t truly understand until they are in that role themselves. When I was little, I vividly remember wanting to grow up and be just like my mom. To me, she was perfect in every way. Even now, at 58 when I think about my childhood, my memories are filled with joy and comfort and love. It was a precious piece of my life. After I became a mom, I realized what a precious time it was for my mom as well. When I got a little older, I don’t ever remember a time that I didn’t want my mom to be around, or that I felt embarrassed by her presence. I also never remember my thoughts voicing the opinion that I hated her. But then, I became a senior in high school and that relationship changed. I most definitely was NOT living for the Lord. I did some things I’m not proud of. My mom would try to talk to me, but all I remember thinking was~ “She just doesn’t understand.” I’m sure the things I did wouldn’t seem significant to the outside world, but inside I knew my heart was dangerously far from God. I wanted to run away. I wanted to lock myself in my room. I wanted to be far away from my mom. That mama that I wanted to grow up to be. That mama who filled my childhood with joy and comfort and love. It was a phase where I felt completely misunderstood. When my own teenagers became seniors in high school, I realized how very much my mom truly understood, and how very much she loved me. With every year that passed, there was a new phase of motherhood where realizations hit me. Realizations that my own mother had gone through the same things with me. Sadly I am still realizing, but it’s too late to tell her that now I understand. My mom has been gone for 20 years. At times I cannot even wrap my head around that fact. 20 years of realizations that could not be rectified. I’m not going to pretend that everything between us was perfect when she passed away. We still had our issues, but my understanding of many of those issues has changed with every passing year. And today, even at 58 I long for that comfort that only my mom could give. We sow and we reap and we go through the “in between” with our children, praying that one day they will get it. One day they will understand. My heart aches for the mama who is going through that “in between”. My heart aches for the child who doesn’t realize and may not realize until their mama is gone. How can we avoid the “in between” our children go through? From the awe and love they have, to disrespect and disregard, and then finally~the understanding. It’s so hard. Sometimes that “in between” can take years. And our mama hearts break. How can this be prevented? Sadly, sometimes it can’t. Sadly we can raise our children to the best of our abilities, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We can teach them to love Jesus with their everything. We can pray with them, lead by example, take them to church and yet somehow satan’s lies become bigger than a mama’s love and steal that child like innocence away. What’s left for a mama to do? What’s left when we feel like we’ve lost them? What’s left when they scream at us that we just “don’t understand”, and our hearts are crying to tell them that they are the ones who don’t understand? What’s left when we feel like we need a miracle? Jesus. Jesus is that miracle. And so, we pour our hearts out to Him and we don’t stop. I am living proof of prayer through the “in between”. My husband is living proof of prayer through the “in between”. My children are living proof of prayer through the “in between”. No matter how long it has been, no matter how long it takes, no matter how old they are, I am here to tell you mama~ don’t give up hope. Hope in the Holy Spirit to grab a hold of your child’s heart and hand, and lead them out of the “in between” and back to that tiny part of their child like heart. Back to you. Back to God. God’s comfort and love are more powerful than satan’s lies. Your comfort and love are more powerful than satan’s lies. He may fool for the moment, but their hearts will eventually remember and return. They will remember your prayers. They will remember your love. They will remember your comfort. The comfort that compares to God’s. Hold on to that truth, because that truth is power. SCRIPTURE READING: Ephesians 4:14-15 Ephesians 6:1-4 Philippians 4:6-7 Proverbs 22:6 Deuteronomy 6:5-7 1 Thessalonians 5:14 1 Thessalonians 5:17 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Isaiah 66:13 |
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